Online Dating Tips for the Digital Age of
Romance
By
Cherie Davidson
We are romantic creatures. We are social creatures. With these two
elements sharing our genetic code, we have little choice but to seek out
someone with whom we can feel free to share our romantic gestures. In
the Stone Age, this was accomplished much the same way as any survival
technique (i.e., hunting and gathering). In the Industrial Age, the
biggest change was that we looked and smelled better during our
pursuits. Now, in the Digital Age, we are more efficient with our
techniques, electronically speaking, however we have also proven that
the human species has not changed a great deal on this fundamental
level.
So, instead of trekking over hill and dale searching for a love
connection, we now flip a switch and "google" for one. Less sweat, but
other than that, not much else has changed. The same criteria still
dictates how humanity looks for love -- attraction, compatibility,
willingness to extend a heart and hand to hold.
Online dating has many positive aspects, some great advantages over
the "bar scene," and has been proven as an efficient, safe and enjoyable
way to make real love connections. Online dating works very well as a
pre- screening tool and allows you to relax more when you do decide to
take a relationship offline. However, as with all dating rituals
throughout history, there are some precautions that should be taken, to
protect yourself, body and heart.
Go With Your Gut ...
Always be aware that the person at the other end of an e-mail message
may not be who or what he or she represents him or herself to be. Listen
to your instincts ... trust your instincts. If anything about the person
makes you uncomfortable, even if it is "just a feeling," then for your
own safety and protection, "walk" away.
Be Mysterious, a.k.a. Use Your Anonymity ...
Don't be too eager to disclose personal information. Never include
your last name, home address, phone number, where you work, who you work
for, or any other identifying information. Always discontinue
communication with anyone who pushes or pressures you for personal
information! Also watch for any attempts to try to trick you into
revealing any personal details. Be very sure you are comfortable before
revealing any such delicate information.
Build Trust Through Caution & Common Sense ...
In the offline world, trust is earned gradually through consistently
honorable, upfront, honest behavior. Take all the time you need to learn
if a person is trustworthy. Again, listen to your instincts. Be
responsible and don't fall "head over heels" and abandon caution at the
click of your mouse.
To Phone Or Not To Phone, That Is The Question ...
Obviously, share your phone number only after you feel completely
comfortable and certain the person can be trusted. Common sense tells
you not to offer your personal phone number to a stranger. An option
could be to use a "disposable" cell phone, or utilize telephone blocking
features available in order to prevent your phone number from appearing
on a stranger's Caller ID.
Phone Calls Can Tell You A Lot ...
When you do get to the "phone stage" of the relationship, realize
that a phone call may often reveal a great deal about someone's
communication and social skills, so listen carefully -- to your
instincts as well as to the other person's voice and words. And even if
you feel comfortable with someone, still, always consider your security
first!
Don't Be Pressured To Meet Too Quickly ...
One of the great advantages of meeting and relating online is that
you can collect information gradually and on your own terms, allowing
you to choose if and/or when to pursue the relationship offline. You are
never obligated to meet anyone no matter how far your online
relationship has progressed. Even if you decide to meet offline, you
have the right to change your mind at any point. If at any moment you
feel uncomfortable about meeting someone in person, listen to
yourself--that "inner voice" could be based on a hunch that you can't
really explain, but trust yourself.
Red Flags, Take Warning ...
Watch for negative attitudes, such as displays of anger, intense
frustration or attempts to pressure or control you. Such behavior as
these, as well as a passive-aggressive manner, making demeaning or
disrespectful comments, or any physically inappropriate behavior should
send up "red flags." Be very concerned if your date exhibits any of
these behaviors. You are also wise to discontinue any relationship where
the person gives you inconsistent information about age, interests,
appearance, marital status, profession, employment, or anything else for
that matter. If the person fails to provide direct answers to direct
questions, appears significantly different in person from their online
persona, and never introduces you to friends, associates or family
members, don't walk, but run, the other way!
Meet In A Safe Location ...
If you decide to meet offline, always tell a good friend or family
member(s) who you are meeting, a telephone number to contact you, where
you are going and when you will return. Always provide your own
transportation, never arrange for your date to pick you up at home. Meet
in a public place at a time with many people around. A familiar, crowded
meeting place is a good idea. If you decide to move to another location,
take separate cars. When the date is over, leave on your own. Before
trust has been built, play it safe.
If you are arriving from another city, arrange for your own car and
hotel room--never allow your date to make the arrangements for you. Do
not disclose the name of your hotel. Arrange to meet at a public
location that the two of you can comfortably agree on. If for any
reason, as you are arriving or after you have arrived, the location
seems inappropriate or unsafe, return to your hotel. And as stated
before, always make sure a friend or family member knows your plans and
has your contact information, and for added security, carry a cell phone
with you at all times.
Stay Safe ...
Never let yourself be pressured to do anything you feel uncomfortable
with or unsure about. If you are in any way intimidated by, or afraid
of, your date, use your best judgment, and in the least confrontational
manner possible make a hasty retreat. If you are feeling unsure how to
end the date early, excuse yourself and go call a friend or family
member for advice, ask for help from someone in your immediate location,
or slip out the back door and drive away. Don't worry about hurting
feelings or being embarrassed. And if you feel you are in any danger,
don't mess around--call the police. Your safety is always much more
important than one person's opinion of you.
Dishonest and unscrupulous people certainly exist on the Web. We've
all heard horror stories. They also exist offline, and not just in bars
and at parties. Regardless of where you meet someone new, remember that
a little safety-consciousness and common sense can save you from a
disastrous encounter. Affairs of the heart are never risk-free, but by
being alert and exercising a little caution, you can enjoy the
exhilarating experience of meeting someone special, someone new, and
maybe even someone you will have in your life for many happy years to
come.
This is a free-reprint article written by freelance writer and
Website content developer, Cherie' Davidson. Cherie' is also managing
content editor for eDipity.com (
http://www.edipity.com
) and welcomes you to submit similar articles for posting on eDipity.com
and in the eDipity Article Exchange list ( http://groups.yahoo.com/group/edipity/
). For more information, write her at
editor@eDipity.com or at her
business address,
cherie@SuitableWords.com
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/
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