Relationship : Wife or co-worker

At times in our lives, we each experience problems in our relationships, in dating or meeting people. Sometimes these relationship problems can be small ones and sometimes they can be major ones. We can all use a little help and advice in dealing with these problems. One of the best ways of seeking help is to talk about or share your problems. Here, we give you the chance to tell us about your problem.

My Wife or my co-worker?

Hello, I am married with 2 children ages 4 and 1 year. I have been married for 7 years and been with her for 9 years.

Recently I have been seeing a co-worker for the past 2 months. We are really into each other and we have talked about leaving our spouses to be with each other.

The problem I am having is lack of sex and no communication. My wife tells me that I never help with the kids and this is the reason for the lack of sex because she is so tired at night. When I get home from work all I want to do is watch sports and relax.

The women that I am seeing is going through the same thing but minus the kids. Her husband does not pay her any attention. I have no idea what to do.

Our reply

Reading your message gives the impression that deep inside you do know what to do but are perhaps scared to face up to it.

Meeting attractive work colleagues can be fun but are you sure that you really want to abandon your wife and family for her? Do you really love your co-worker or is it just a case of pity or sympathy? You are giving her attention, something which she claims she does not get at home. A relationship needs to be based upon more than just attention giving. You are fulfilling an immediate need for her but does she really love you? Do you really love her?

Modern living can be stressful, so it is no surprise that both you and your wife are tired in the evenings; she from looking after the kids and you from work. You say that you just want to relax, well so does she! She may also be looking for you to take a bit more responsibility for looking after the kids. It seems that you may both need to re-assess your lives and priorities, perhaps making a commitment to rejuvenate your relationship.

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